3 Questions to Find Your PERSONAL Success Formula

Hey,

If you're like me, knowing that the calendar is about to flip over to a new year in just 2 and a half weeks, starts you thinking about what you are going to do differently next year.

When I say thinking, I really mean obsessively visualising all the different ways you can make this shiny new year your poster-child of awesomeness and already having FOMO about the options you will have to discard when you put on your Reality Hat.
 

To help you cut through all that "should do / could do" clutter I have a really simple exercise for you that helps you identify your OWN success formula.

Because there are little clues scattered in your life that point you to the very unique way you create good things in your life. Unique ways you can replicate in other parts of your life.

I did this exercise on the weekend (after discovering it in one of my very beautiful journals I've bought over the years with the intention of being a disciplined journal writer...and abandoned after 10 pages).

In one hour on my deck I uncovered insights I have already implemented in my personal life and will really change the way I do business next year. Why did I forget I had this exercise?

So in today's podcast I dive into:

  • The 3 questions
  • What areas of your life to apply the questions to
  • What to do if you can't answer the questions?
  • Very transparent insights into the big discoveries I made when doing this exercise, my personal success formula from 2022, and what changes I've already made (OK so I've been quite vulnerable in this part but you'll understand why when you listen)
  • How to use your insights to make decisions about 2023 that are truly grounded in your personal way of creating ease and success.
I can't wait to hear your answers!
Scarecited Challenge
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  • Share your ah-ha's from today's blog post, or on socials, or privately with a friend. Why was that ah-ha important to you?
  • Choose ONE thing from your ah-ha and schedule now to take action on that THIS WEEK.
  • Hey you can tag me @janetbeckers on all socials. If you share a great ah-ha, I'll repost in my stories and shine the light on you. Scarecited?
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Click To See Transcript (via Otter AI)
Hello beautiful you. Well, Janet Beckers here with an episode that is two and a half weeks out from the New Year, can you believe it? And there is something about changing the calendar over to a new year where you can't help. But start thinking about, you know, how's my life going to be different next year, I want it to be better things I want things to change.
But there's so many things I can be doing. You know, how do I want my year to look differently in my personal life? How do I want it to look different? In my business? How do I know I'm making the right decisions? Who should be telling me what I should be doing? Am I you know, there's all these decisions that you want to make.
And they're, they're very likely spinning around in your head at the moment. And so I thought, what I would do today is not overwhelm you with this is my full plan on what I did review my business or my clients, I'm not going to go into this is how we plan out your year. This is how we work out your goals.
This is how we work out all of these sorts of things. I don't want to overwhelm you with that ain't nobody got time for that stuff at this time of the year. So what I'm going to share with you today is a three question framework. And this framework allows you to cut through the clutter, get to Revelations really fast.
And this is the powerful part. It identifies your personal success formula. Cool, how cool is that, that's what we're going to look at today. So when you go into making decisions, and really, this is not the time of the year to be doing all that huge planning, okay, you've got so much stuff happening at the moment, just being a human.
So it means that you can then have percolating over it in your brain, the things that are most likely to contribute to you making good decisions next year. So that's what I'm going to share with you today that three question framework. Now, why am I sharing this with you today? Well, on the weekend, I decided, You know what, I think I think I'm going to be calm a person that journals I've, you know, I'm I you so many times about journaling being such a great way to start the day, you really get clear on your intentions for the day, your gratitude, you really reset your goals, you connect to get all that stuff out of your head. And that really, really appeals to me.
And I have tried to be a person who journals so many times, but it just doesn't work really well for me simply because I get impatient, you know, I really enjoy the process. I like the work. But the thought of doing this on a regular every single morning, honestly, I start to get impatient, I want to move around, I want to just make this shit happen like, and so it never never really works.
And so as a result I have on my desk in the corner here. A pile of exceptionally beautiful and tasteful journals, all of them that may have at most 15 pages used out of them. And of course, they are absolutely beautiful journals. J Because if you are going to journal, you need to have the perfect book, don't you?
So there's another month while you find the perfect book. So I thought you know what, I think I might just try to give it a go and find the way that works for me. So my decision was, you know, today is a really restful day, I don't have commitments, I'm going to go and choose the most beautiful journal from my selection up there.
And I am just going to do one day of journaling. I'm not going to try to tell myself, I'm going to do that all the time. I can tell you now is this it's not going to continue. So after finding, you know, flipping through all these beautiful journals, I decided, you know, here's one here that looks quite good.
And I opened it up and thought, wow, I wasn't actually journaling in this particular tasteful book. I was answering this three question framework, and I'd forgotten about it and it's so good. So what I did is I just went outside sat in the sun, and I just spent time really thinking about these three questions that I'm going to share with you.
Now, the nice part about this is you can do this exercising 10 minutes and get really good value. Or you can dive deeper and spend up to an hour and get exceptional value. It's also something that you could possibly make a regular commitment to do every single week. That's something that I know that I will do.
So, because I can just do it quite quickly. So that's my aim today, from today's podcast, is that you will have at the end here, the three question framework, and you can go immediately, and spend just 10 minutes on this and get something really significant. So that's what we're going to do.
Now, why is this important to do anyway? Well, the thing is, very often, what we find is, you are you've made your plans already. Now your plans in your business might be around, this is who I help, this is my offer. This is the way I always work with people. When I do my marketing, this is what I do, I always do like a podcast or video or nothing, whatever it is, whatever, whatever you're currently doing.
But I've got you know, you might have a plan of what you're going to do all of these things that you'll have a plan or you'll also have plans for things in your personal life that may be around your health, your fitness, your relationships. And so once you've got a plan, and you've started doing it, and you feel a real tie to it.
But the thing is, that plan may not be working as well as it could, but you feel committed to it, because that's what grownups do, they don't just change, you know, partway through, they make the plan and they stay committed. And what can tend to happen is, you can keep on doing the same thing over and over and over thinking that this time I'll get it right.
So the problem that can come with that is it doesn't take long that you stop trusting your own unique way of doing things, your own intuition, your own insights. And you start really relying more on tweaking the plan. And you'll start going and looking for courses, or going to start a completely new course on something because that's going to make this better that's going to fix things.
If you can relate to this, I think this is really describing practically every entrepreneur, especially if you are growing a business where you're thinking, You know what, I want to help more people I want to have freedom in my life, I'm going to build an online business. And I'm going to work one to many.
So I can help more people, but I can have freedom. There's so many distractions, and so many people telling you, this is what you should do. Because all these different ways work, but do they work for you? So this is why these questions I'm gonna share with you I really, really important, because they help you uncover what is it?
That is your own personal success formula. So that's what we're going to do. Okay, now you're probably thinking, just tell us the bloody questions, Janet. Okay, so here we go. Right. Now, the first question is, Janet Beckers 08:42 I want you to ask yourself, What's working really well, for me right now?
Like what's working really well for me, right now. Now, this is not only about your business, okay? So it can be your relationships and think about individuals think about a romantic relationship. Think about a business relationship, think about, you know, family, think about friends, all those different J things, think about those relationships.
Some of those relationships might be with clients. Some of those relationships might be with staff or vendors, whatever. So there could be relationships, there could be other things like your health. There, it could be things to do with your finances. They, there's you know, with social, those sorts of things, and then you can also be thinking about there might be different things that you're doing in your business that you're thinking thats actually that's working quite well.
Now, this this is the very first important important question for you to ask so. So for me some of the Things that I looked at were, well, I'm my relationship with my husband is really, really good at the moment. And in fact, I asked him about it, you know, when I was telling him about the, this is the exercises that I've been doing.
And he goes, Yeah, it is really, really good. And I, we talked about that. So there was that. There was also things that were working really well with me with my mum, my mum is she's 88 years old, she's, you know, she's her health is not fantastic. She's quite good at the moment, but it would only take like, you know, one infection, and she could be back in hospital.
So there's, I've my sister, and I take a lot of responsibility for her health. But I'll share with you in a moment, what I did what what I had done, that means that I'm really, really happy in my relationship with my mom, and how much it gets to see her. She is really really too. And I'm not feeling any of that kind of, oh, you know, I'm always, you know, being pulled in these responsibilities, commitments, you know, the sandwich generation, I'm not feeling that at all, where sometimes I was feeling like that in the past.
So that is a really good thing. Another really great thing is I'm strong, I'm really, really healthy, I can lift heavy things, I can run and swim good distances. And I feel really good. And that's been very deliberate this year. The other thing I really looked at was, you know, what, the clients that I'm working with, at my higher level, they are such a pleasure to work with such a pleasure to work with, it's really, really easy, and they're getting really, really good results.
So that was just a few of the things that I discovered for myself. Now, you notice, I didn't say there that everything in my life is perfect. And I didn't say that everything in my business is absolutely fantastic. Because there's parts of it that I'm not happy with. But what I have done is I've picked out the things that are not just, you know, getting results, but they're also the things that I'm really enjoying that I feel a sense of ease, and will just ease just as easy.
So that's the question that has yourself, you know, when you say, what's working for you now, is also what just feels easy? What feels easy? So that's the number one question. So, look, first of all, just write down those things. Now, if you are going, You know what, I can't think of anything at all.
That's okay, this is what I'd like you to do. Instead, if you really started doing it, and then you start to get down because you're thinking, nothing, I can't think of anything. What I give you as an exercise is, I would like you for a whole week is to keep a gratitude diary. Now that could be in the notes on your phone, or it could be in an incredibly tasteful, beautiful journal.
But I just want you to do every day, whether it's first thing in the morning, end of the day, whatever works for you set an alarm on your phone, so you don't forget, because it's a new habit. And I just want you to write down as many things as you can think of at least one thing that you are grateful for that day, and not just write down.
I'm grateful for this. You know, it could be as simple is I am grateful that I have fresh food. Honestly, I love it. When I look in the fridge, there's fresh fruit, it could be that our I could be grateful that you know, I bought a really nice coffee and the barista smile, whatever. Just not just put down what you're grateful for.
But why were you grateful for it? Because that's going to help you to really start to think about what is working well. So keep that going for at least a week. And then I'd like you to come back and try this exercise. Okay, so even if you find you can't do this, there is an exercise for you to do.
Okay. So that's number one. What's working really well for me right now. Now the next question is, I want you to go back to each of those. So leave a bit of space there. And I want you to answer this question. Why such a great question, isn't it like, why is that working? There's so many times we look at things in our life and our business that are not working and we can give you all of the whys why it's not working and most of them will be It's all my fault.
Or if you're thinking a different way it's all somebody else's fault. I always tend to just blame me because I'm responsible for everything in my life and in fact, everything in everybody's life, if you would really like to know. Yeah, so why is it working? Now, these are really good things for you to think about.
And don't just take it to the next level of, because like I didn't didn't say, with my husband, things are going, you know, I got a great relationship with him, it's getting stronger and stronger. It was, I didn't just say it's great, because we get on really well, or we laugh a lot, or whatever, I would dive deeper into what decisions had I made at some time?
What decisions that I make earlier? What did I do, maybe slightly differently? Or what am I doing on a regular basis? So what are they doing that's made at work? So for an example, with with Douglas, my husband is, I this year, I have gone through a real sort of personal journey. And I just really dived deep in to forgiveness work.
And to it's such a long journey, there's been, you know, I realized at the beginning of the year, I wasn't as happy as I normally am. So I decided, Okay, I'm gonna get some help. But I'm going to work out why. And as part of that, which, by the way, best thing ever is I decided right at the beginning, okay, when I'm doing this work, when I'm working with somebody that works me through this process, and when I'm doing stuff myself, I'm, I'm going to just accept all the things that I discover, and I'm not going to, I'm going to remove any emotions from what I find is just going to be this is.
So I'm going to remove any shame, fear of judgment, whatever. And I'm going to share just really, really openly with my husband, with my children, with other people in my family, what I'm discovering, as I'm going through this much deeper self exploration work. And so it's actually strengthened all of those relationships, and a really, really well with my husband as well.
Because once you decide to take any emotion than any judgment of yourself, it also means you take away the emotion and judgment of others. And so I've found in return, we've just had lots of really, really open discussions, where before I may have held back because I might have felt silly, or I didn't want to worry anybody.
So for me, I thought ik, so vulnerability, and just sharing with out any emotion, in fact, saying stuff, any shame, guilt, whatever. That's just not gonna happen around here. That was the thing that made a difference there. Okay, that was one thing. Now, the other thing if I if I choose another one was the when I was saying that the clients that I'm working with at the higher level.
So these are people who every single week, we're on a group, really, really intimate group call. You know, I've done really deep dives, one on ones with them. Every day, you know, I'm answering questions. I'm reviewing all of their work. I know them in their businesses intimately.
And it's easy, really, really easy. They're fantastic. I've got these wonderful clients, and I thought, Why? Why is it easy? And then I thought, okay, part of it is, because my processes, my framework, the things that I do to help them they work, I've been doing this long enough that I just know, I can get them the results.
And I've got a lot of the training and worksheets, all that stuff. So it's easy for them to be able to go at their own pace. So that's good. You know, it's just building on the other work. But there was more than that. I thought what else is different? Because, you know, that's those processes.
I've been using those with a lot of people, what is different and I thought you know what it is? The thing that is different is the type of clients. This is really, really easy working with these people because I decided, you know, I'm just going to work with people at this level who have actually got a lot of years experience in their area of expertise.
They are really, really good and experienced what they do and they've been doing it for a long time. So they are, you know, they know their stuff, they get great results for clients, a lot of them they're busy, like because they're quite, they're working with clients all the time, but they're, they don't want to burn out.
And because they've been doing this for a while it's got a real commitment to their business. And so it's been really, really easy, because these are people that turn up all the time they do the work, J sometimes it's slower, because they've got so busy with their work. But when they can focus, they just focus because they're committed, they don't give up.
Even when it gets hard, because I'm there, believing in them, doesn't think you can dust off and keep on going because they've been in business long enough that they know that they've got a calling. So it was people who are good at their stuff, have got a calling. And they are committed to actually taking their work online, because they don't want to keep on working that hard.
So these are people who do great work, they pay without complaining at all. And it's easy. And I really, really enjoy the company. So I thought that's, that's great. So because I'm and so that's what I had done, I had made the decision that at the close the top level, this is the criteria that they need to meet.
So for me, that was another important thing. So for you, I'd like you to ask yourself, the things that you put down that word, this is what's working really well, in all these different facets of my life. I want you to ask yourself, why? And if you're having trouble with that, I want you to ask yourself, Well, I came what did what was there a decision that I made?
Or was there an approach that I made? Or what some similarities are around? You know, like, I noticed the similarities and the clients that I was working with. And so what decisions that I make? And if you're having a lot of trouble with that, maybe somebody who is close to that process, that might be somebody who you're working with, it could even be one of your clients, honestly, if you're getting great results with a client, you can chat with them.
Why is this working so well? Or it could be with somebody who's involved? Like I had a great chat with my husband about this. And yeah, and we were able to dive in deeper about specific things that had happened along the way that brought us closer because we had those really open conversations.
So that's what I recommend to you. So let me just tell you, Yes or No, I did do I did do that. So the next thing that I want you to question. Now this is the third question is what other areas of my life or business? Can I apply my own success formula to? Now what I mean by success formula, so I call it success formula, because what it really is, so we overcomplicate things, but honestly, the thing that's going to make it that it works for you at the moment, okay, is what was the thing that you were finding that really made a difference?
And so for me, I thought we you know, what, the things that really made a difference for me was to remove shame, and fear and judgments from myself and to share really openly stopped feeling as if I, you know, have to necessarily buffer or whatever, just just share openly. This is this is what I'm thinking, this is what I'm discovering.
What are you reckon, like, those sorts of things, so greater, greater transparency, and invulnerability? You know, it's something you can keep on doing. So for me, that was a success formula. And then, you know, another thing that for me that was working really well was, you know, taking the emotion out of things, just saying, this is just what is and this, you know, so there's no right or wrong here, no judgment.
And the other thing was, you know, getting that real clarity on the type of people that I can get really great results with, with absolute ease. And so then I can have a look over. So that's your success formula for you. It may be something that's completely different. But for me, it was around that openness, open the sun judgment free zone.
And that judgment honestly is judgment of myself, we, that's probably one of the ones we all struggle with an openness and choosing to work with people that make it easy, like the guy. So that was that's my success formula, we can apply there. So the next question is, what other things could I apply that success formula to?
So then I thought, You know what, the reason why my relationship with my mom is really, really easy at the moment. And it wasn't that they were ever problems with the relationship, it was more to do with me feeling an incredible push and pull. So when I wasn't, if I hadn't been up to see Mum for a few weeks, he lives a few hours away, I'd be feeling really, really guilty, really guilty that I hadn't been up there.
Even though I talk to her every day, but I hadn't been up there, I feel guilty, and I'd miss her. But then, if I was going up, you know, more often or whatever, I then would go, Oh, I've got all these other things that are pulling on my time. So I was always feeling this mixture of resentment versus guilt.
That is not nice energy. The way that I resolved that was I said, You know what, I'm going to put boundaries in place, Mondays on Mondays, every Monday is fully devoted to going and seeing my mum. And after I've gone to the gym, of course, bought myself a nice coffee and breakfast on the way up, then it is all about my mum, so I can be 100% Present.
And then for the rest of the week, I don't have to feel the guilt of oh, I should got this weekend, if there are things that come up, and you can relate to this, if you have elderly parents, my passwords aren't working. Janet Beckers 26:54 You know, I'm having, I need to see the doctors, whatever.
I can just go okay, let's do it on Monday. So having that framework meant that I haven't lost that. Push Me Pull You feeling really, really important. So what I also did is I decided, okay, where else do I have that feeling? Okay, so one of them isn't a personal thing. And the other one is actually my business.
So when it came to personal thing is I really wanted to spend more time with my mother in law, but there's, it's a bit more complicated of, of there. And part of that is complicated with her having dementia. And I was always feeling this, I was feeling the same Push Me Pull You have, I really want to be able to spend more time with her and support her.
But there are some other sort of, you know, complications around that, that I won't go into. And so I was always, you know, feeling a little bit on like, I felt like I was letting it down. So what I decided is, okay, so it doesn't doesn't have to be the same every single week with my mom. But Mondays are Mondays.
And so now I have in her calendar, the frequency of when I will come up, take her shopping, go out for a cuppa have a scone those sorts of things. And it's in her calendar, because she won't remember. But she does look at her little diary. And so she knows that that's when I'm going to be there.
And so that and I just kept on working out felt the Push Me Pull You have me going. If I went this often not that still doesn't feel quite right. If I go this often now I'm starting to feel resentment there. This here is the right frequency. So there that worked really well. So it was just trusting about putting boundaries in place.
And just being very happy to know okay, this, this, this works really, really well for me. And I'll look a face just lit up was beautiful. Anyway, so that was one thing. Now the other one when it came to my business, I thought where am I feeling that push me pull you like I feel bad if I haven't done it.
But then I feel a bit of resentment. And I thought you know what some of this is coming around my marketing and producing of my podcast, because I often for somebody who for years just batched and got this stuff done. I've had to get my assistant to have a recurring task to send me guilt messages to say where is the podcast this week?
Honestly. So yeah, I had to get I had to automate nagging Janice. So I thought Kate, this is really interesting, what is not working here. And so the The nice part about this is it made me look at, okay, just because this has worked for me for years, doesn't necessarily mean that this is what I will continue to do.
Now, I didn't make the decision on the spot, and I still haven't. But the nice part is I have flagged for the beginning of the year is to really go over the numbers of open rates of views of what's working the best. And also, look at how I can work with more of the type of clients that I just finding, so easy to work with Anna are all getting really, really great results.
So and then what's going to work with my marketing best for them. So that just came from an hour of sitting in the sun, that on a personal level, you know, I was able to really make somebody who's important in my life, really, really happy. And I know that I've got the decisions because I can get I've, I've got a commitment with my mother in law to spend time with her, which is lovely.
She brought up a fantastic son. So you know, I want to be there for her. And you know, and I've also got some real clarity that I am reviewing my marketing routines and analyzing them in terms of how do I how do I give myself the space to work with more people at that closer level.
So they're my challenges. And so I've committed to, really, that's the first thing I'll be planning just after Christmas. So I'm really excited about that. So as you can see, what I've done there is I've taken what's working. And now I can take that and go and make sure I bring more of that into J my business and into my life.
So yeah, so you're your mission, if you choose to accept it, is I'd like you to do these questions. Do these three questions. And even if you only just focus on one part of your life first might be business might be relationships might be health. Oh, and I haven't even shared why I had such great success with health.
That's another that's another whole episode. That's my, my challenge to you. If you're, if you've listened to me do these three and you go, you know what, I can not even think about this, you know, I can't, I can't think of how I can apply this to anything else I'm doing, then what I'd like you to do is just write down on a piece of paper, or however it works for you for reminders, something that you can see.
Okay, on a regular basis, is I want you to write down the six core success tips. So when you looked at what's working and why, when, what when you boil it down to what were the things that really worked? What Why did they work, put those success tips and just write them down somewhere?
Okay. So and then just keep them really handy. And ask yourself every single day of this week, as you go about your life? Oh, is is what I'm doing now? Could this be improved with what I saw as my own personal success tips, things that were really easy in my life, that this what they had in common?
And just ask yourself, can I apply these these ideas to what I'm doing right now. So your planning does not have to be this one and done thing you can be continually analyzing and just using these questions. So those questions are what is working really well right now? For me, in all areas of your life, personal and business.
The next question is why? Why is it working? And then the third one is, well, what else in my life and my business? Could I apply these success principles to to make them so they are easier for me? And they work better? Those three questions. Honestly, this is I now have a reminder for myself to answer these three questions at the end of every week, so that I can look back over my week and really ask myself this question.
And yeah, I would love to hear from you. So Janet Beckers 34:56 I would like if you had the best thing that I would love you to do is just either so send me a private message or send me an email and let me know what you came up with, I would love to know what your success formula is, what is it, that's making things easy for you, I would love to hear that.
And also just share these with other people. Because something that you may end up taking for granted. Because that's easy, could be the thing that is going to really change somebody's perspective on their own life and their own business and inspire them to make some change.
Now, if when you do this exercise, you go, you know, what, I've actually identified that there are some areas that I really want to make some changes in next year, when I look at this, and I can see, you know, what I want to change. And I can see how I have got, you know, these superpowers here, these small things that are my success formula, and you want to apply them to your business, and you'd like some help.
If you match that criteria that I described of, you've got quite a lot of experience in the work that you do, especially if you work in any kind of health field healing field. And when I say healing field, it could be mainstream health, it could even be personal development work, you know, it's anything where you're working with people's physical, mental, spiritual health, they're the people who I can get really great results with.
So if you've got a lot of experience working in those sort of fields, and you really want to take what you're doing, and you want to leverage that. So you can help a lot more people online, with group programs while freeing up yourself, so you're not going to burn out, then we need to talk, because you could be perfect for me to be working with this in the next year.
And I think it could be a real pleasure. So that's what I'm here to help you to do. So if that sounds right, just drop me a message and tell me a little bit about you and your business and what your goals are. And we can even get started before the end of the year, just by you know, I can give you your initial action plan, and we can get going.
And and you that will use that means that you can start really thinking and planning before we get stuck into things in J the new year. Okay, so if that sounds if that sounds good to you, I'd love to hear from you. And go out there. Commit to yourself, you're going to do these three questions.
Trust that you know what works best for you and identify those areas. And then come and tell me about it. I'd love to know. Okay, bye
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